While we mere humanoids mourn the passing of legendary wrestling personality Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, the ethereal inhabitants of blissful eternity are overjoyed to finally have a perfect commentary team. 

Heenan reunited today with longtime friend and broadcast partner Gorilla Monsoon, who embraced the new arrival at the Pearly Gates, planting a friendly kiss on Heenan’s external occipital protuberance. 

Heenan immediately joked that Saint Peter seemed like “a real ham-and-egger,” to which Monsoon retorted with: “Will you be serious, Brain?”

The reunited duo then immediately resumed their favorite pastime, sitting atop a cloud and calling a match between Andre the Giant (whom Heenan still insists was the Giant Machine) and Big John Studd. 

Angels thrummed their harps in delight as Heenan and Monsoon exchanged witty repartee and tongue-in-cheek jests, calling match after match featuring the likes of Roddy Piper, Mr. Perfect, Hercules, Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and a heavenly host of others. 

Back on Earth, meanwhile, wrestling fans everywhere felt grateful for all the entertainment and joy Heenan and Monsoon provided when they were alive. 

Thank you, Brain. 

 

 

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